Some wrong turns end in contentment and a different kind of Happy.

I love and miss you much my son!  Nine years ago today at milepost 68 between Riverton and Casper the "butterfly" people came to escort you to heaven. Of course we mortals didn't understand this and continued to hope for 14 more hours, but Dereck knew.  He watched them.  
That spot means nothing to your Dad but to Whitney and I visit there once a year.  We always see a butterfly somewhere near just like we see one up at the cemetery near you and your tree. (The cemetery staff have finally convinced me I can't keep putting a hat in the tree limbs praying it will grow into it.  They've trimmed the trees too high for me to reach.  BUT KaCe is getting big and one day he'll climb up there.  We'll get a brown hat, maybe camo, and hide it there.)  Sure the road has been fixed with real shoulders and a gentle slope but we recognize that spot.  A irreversible, mandatory turn in the road.  A life changing experience.

Tonight so many people will celebrate their life changing experience.  We think of the grandpa that will turn 63 still alive with your beating heart as he bounces his gbabes and attend little league games.  And the now 32 year old African student with one of your kidneys.  Is he still playing soccer?  As friend Sharon begins to think about dialysis I rejoice that the 55 year old woman has gone 3287 days with no dialysis after spending 3700+/- days doing dialysis. You surely didn't need any of those parts again and that was the ONE way (at the time) I thought I could actually handle the outcome of that fiasco.  I truly haven't regretted that decision.  Burying you in long sleeves and your topless hat wasn't even a blip on the "oh no" radar.

Moving on.  So many folks abuse this saying and twist it to make themselves comfortable with quips like "You need to move on". They are uncomfortable being around the new you.  These folks have NO clue to what moving on means.   They just don't want to deal with your change and they just don't know what "to do with you".  Remember Penny my singing buddy?  Well her dad and mom died within 2 months of one another and Penny just couldn't seem to deal with it.  Jean, Joan and I wanted her to "move on".....Lord how stupid we were.  Penny was overwhelmed with her loss.  She was buried under paperwork.  She still had to be a mother and wife and breathe every day.  Her plate was full.  10+ years later as she knelt at my feet at the church "dinner" she asked me to forgive her for her neglect of us...........no need I told her...........I finally get it!!  I have no idea how we'll move on; but we will.  If folks around us don't like it they can go away.

Does moving on mean you can't ever be happy again???  I used to think so.  Actually until January 12, 2008 I thought I was as happy as I'd ever be again. A quiet peaceful happy.  I didn't even bother to "stand up on the inside" any longer.  That year brought me full circle and I didn't even realize it was happening; but your Dad did.  As we settled in New Mexico I suddenly became a morning person - can you believe it?  :)  Dad does his best pain free sleeping from 1-2 to 9:00+ in the morning so I had every morning alone - to begin to like me again.  By spring I was venturing out to the clubhouse working on jigsaw puzzles with Sharon.  Late one March morning she remarked that "Ken feels that he has the woman he married back. That you are becoming happy again."  Uhhhhh I don't............uhhhhhh Well.........hmmmmmm Obviously I had to think about that. But he's right. I felt like "me" again; yet a different me.


We actually love our life.  We began traveling years before we planned; we downsized which is not ALL bad and our wants and needs are finally in perspective.  (I really hate the "p" word Son.)  We love our time in New Mexico.  What great people we have found in the traveling world.  These folks get it.  Take what you want/need in life and leave the rest lay there.  We also love coming back to the Gizoo of Gillette.  You would be proud of your nephews and neices.  Your namesake KaCe is so like Erick.  Walks, thinks and moves like him.  Ethan is Mike to the 9th degree!  You really might have to gather a huge butterfly flutter to watch over him.  He, like you, seems to migrate to hospital ER rooms.


Yes, we've moved on but we'll never forget.  You will always be my belly bumping 13 years old spark of light.  You never grow old. 

Moving On

Does not mean that we forget you.
Does not mean that we won't feel the pain of losing you
Does not mean that we believe life is fair

Moving On

Means that we experience a lessening of the pain
Means that we treasure the best memories of you (ALL actually)
Means that we accept our loss and forgive others
Means that we understand that both joy and loss are part of the life cycle
Means that we believe that God is good, even when life isn't.

From Sunbathing................

to Football

June is flying by

June is almost a memory.  As this IS Wyoming we have gone from cold to hot.  No, no not bitching as I have the weather for TRC on my desktop and yesterday when we had a balmy 85*; TRC had 102*.  I also have Toc Alaska and it is amazing how often they are warmer than Gillette.
We are in typical "summer mode" which translates to pretty fast.  Let's see what is happening here at the GZoo....
Four years ago Ken just couldn't reconcile traveling with a pet so we sent Becky, our rescue dog, to Casper to cheer up another household.  That was somewhat ok with me as I just couldn't reconcile doing all the early morning dog walking.  :)  Little did I know that I would become a very early morning person.  Go figure.  
When we came back to the Schram's in Gillette we got to know Vixie there Papillon.  I think the seed was sown then for Ken.  She is a lively, smart funny dog.  He kept saying "We aren't going to travel with a pet!"  Four years later Vixie had two boy puppies that were 10 weeks old when we arrived back in WY.  I told Debbie before we left I wondered if we would manage to return to NM dogless.  Nope!  Not only do we have a dog, he is a registered purebred Papillon and we PAID for him!!  I am just rolling on the floor laughing at this.  How quickly the mighty fall.  Our backgrounds are "the only good dog is a working cow dog".    NOW our background is Gimme a lapdog, gimme a lapdog!!  Hysterical.

Dogpile on Uncle Kevin!

Ken broke the news to me one day with, "I have some bad news................That little Wuff just keeps coming up to me wanting on my lap.  I think I'm gonna have to have him."  AAAAHAAA!  Now Ken another obsession besides farming- watching dog training videos and reading about training.  Works for me!  Here is Wiley Wuff not to be mixed up with Roadie II.

Alexa and Aedan bonding.

Andy like her toes tickled a little bit.

Then there are the g/ggbabies!  We got to watch the two youngest ggbabes with Whitney the other night. Yes that would be 3gbabe and 2 ggbabes at the same place/time etc.  Andy finally decided that Grandad was okay and Alexa just wanted some chow time.


Whitney applied for a job last May when they moved back to Gillette.  They kept the resume and called her two weeks ago to see if she was interested.  It is a property manager at an apartment complex that is controlled housing.  So the boys will be with us Mon-Tue and Thurs-Fri. (9:30-5:30)  We'll see how long this lasts.  In the midst of getting compliance training two of her teeth decided now was the time to become abcessed so we added two ER visits to this mix.  Never a dull moment at the Gizoo!


SIL Kevin gets his new Snapon truck Friday (after he unloads the old one and drives to Wisconsin to pick it up).  It will be all hands Wednesday noon to do the unloading honors.  


This weekend the Schrams will put in an underground sprinkler system, clean up a tradein tool box, haul tons of "landscape" rock; the Llewelyn's will try out the apartment swimming pool and the Colpitts will attempt to stay out of the way.  NOT likely.   


On the twelth day of suuuummmmmeeerr my true love said to me.........."How craaaazzzy are weeee?..... 12 vehicles rotating, 11 tool boxes shining, 10 trees a-growing, 9 chairs a-lounging  8 People feeding, 7 Deer Running byyy, 6 Stomped on *$&% Cell Phones, FIIIIVVVVEE Bedrooms full; 4 Stuffed Storage Spots; 3 Zippy Papillons; 2 Tails a-draggin'  and a giiiaaannnttt Snapon Truck!!

Not quacking as much!

The rain seems to have stopped.  However as my cousin says the "water ain't outa the hills yet".  The wind has replaced the rain.  It has really effected Ken's balance this time.  Of course his balance has been getting worse but the wind seems to really mess with him.  Of course summer life is about the gkids - old and young.

 And of course I shall be putting them up here.......:)

Rats! I missed Erick riding Ethan's.......the oldest gson and #8.

Grandad herding the "cats".

Whit, the boys and I went to Rapid via Newcastle and the dentist Thursday.  Ethan comes up to his mom with a bloody nose...........yup! something besides his finger up there...............shiny..............metal! Spit!  We tried having him blow it out - yeah right!!  So off to the ER we go.  The drill was lay on his tummy for 15 or so minutes then they held one nostril and had him blow.  Fifth time it popped out - a little brass bead.   We have all decided that he is Uncle K.C. and Uncle Mike rolled into one.  Every spring I would take them snowboarding and every spring we would make a run to an ER somewhere.  I hadn't been to Newcastle's before.  we're probably starting a new trend with a new generation.  So---  I've been designing a SW mask for his nose..................think about that one for awhile.  I could make a red one for winter and a BRIGHT green one for summer.  :)  Yes, indeedy.

Anywho it was 92* in Rapid.  And the SD fuel trick is that Unleaded isn't always at the TOP of the price board.  It was at the BOTTOM making it the highest priced - Fat lot of good it did to have a .10/gal off Smith's card.  However we DID find $3.86 Diesel in Newcastle.  Not that we had any vehicle to put it in but it was nice to see.
OK I need to find some more people to bug...............I'm sure there's a hot game of pinochle starting up next door.