Aug 26, 2011

A Blog is......

The view out Lucky's window.

 A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.
Your blog is whatever you want it to be. There are millions of them, in all shapes and sizes, and there are no real rules.
In simple terms, a blog is a web site, where you write stuff on an ongoing basis. New stuff shows up at the top, so your visitors can read what's new. Then they comment on it or link to it or email you. Or not.  The blog owner has control over whether comments are published, deleted and reported as spam.

And this blog is MY blog.  I've found if I spend time typing my feelings out I don't harbor them as much.  Sometime I do indeed publish them other times I edit them.  In the last few days have I spewed anger, rage, despair, sorrow?  Yup, sure have.  Am I sorry - can't say that I am.  God knows where I've been and where I'm going.

There are many folks that are interested in Lucky/Mona. But, other than Ken, Mona, Lucky, Tom Harvey and members of Burnt River Community Church no one really knows their background.  Between our insurance and out of pocket we spent $100,000's for counseling on Lucky. As we felt, at the time she was the more wounded. Pastor Tom Harvey was present at the jury trial 35 years ago when their birth mother was stripped of her rights and the children were given to Ken.  Hmmm - so if the jury hadn't come back in Ken's favor they still weren't going back to Frances - they would stay at Burnett Baylin Orphanage.  1975 in the Bible belt of the U.S a stranger comes to town and after two years leaves with his birth children??  Yes - precedence for father's rights was set in Kenneth Colpitts vs Frances Knipe; Harris County Texas.

We are fully aware of how Lucky lived her life and loved her anyway.  She knew it didn't matter what she said about/to us that no matter what we loved her.  Never one time during the last few days did she say go away; I hate you; why now, etc.    She knew where I stood with her.  I really don't care what anyone else thinks.  Because often you only hurt the ones you love; because they are safe. 

And we are fully aware of how Mona lived her life and loved her anyway.  When Ken put his hand up to her and said - your children would be better off with their father - she left.  23 years later Lucky called her to come - she came back.  We haven't spent any money on Mona.  She NEVER asked, not once to this day.  She spent her own money on counseling.  How do I KNOW she did that?  Because without understanding who/what/why/how the abuse came; there is NO way she could have withstood that past 2 weeks.  Because during those nights when Lucky would finally settle down we talked.  I asked her some hard questions and gave her some hard opinions but she never blew and stomped off.  She does resemble her "egg donor" as she puts it and most folks assume she is going to act like her.  She seems to live her life along the "how would Frances handle this?" then she does the exact opposite.  She began to spiral one day then walked away; spent time alone and came back.

Mona shut herself off from her family and had never experienced death.  She had to grieve almost full circle in 11 days.  I encouraged her to read about death from the Hospice aspect and ask the nurses questions.  I told her about the phases Mom, Aunt Della, etc. went through.  Dying is hard, hard work.  Mona came to recognize and understand the phases that happened to Lucky and slowly began to accept them.  Wednesday at noon we said our goodbyes to Lucky and ended with a speakerphone prayer from Pastor Tom Harvey.  We were fully aware Nina was spiraling into a major confrontation with us.  When we got into the pickup Mona says - it's time for me to go home to support Mike.  His grandmother had passed away in Rapid City and the funeral was Thursday.  So we loaded her up and headed to meet son Mike(l) in Cheyenne.

At 12:34 pm - Nina declared war.  We usually reappeared about 6 pmish every night.  That night we didn't appear.  The filthy text messages began at about 6:30 pm. It was interesting that she only sent them to Mona. We advised Mona not to read them that Nina was looking for a response to spiral some more.  They finally quit.  Mona forwarded them on to my phone so a record can be kept if it is ever needed.  We called Hospice about 9:30 and were told there was a LOT of drama in/about Lucky's room.   I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to Claudia, Ellie, Mike, John and Nicole.  I could see the pain they felt at losing Lucky.  Lucky did leave a mark in Colorado Springs; she befriended many people.  Did Lucky lose her faith?  I don't know.  I pray not.  She often talked about/to K.C. at night.  However I was taught differently and just can't reconcile dabbling in the occult with Jesus as your savior.  Many believe once saved always saved;   others believe one can throw it away.  What I do know is that NO ONE KNOWS until we get there. 

Epilogue:  It appears that Lucky/Nina didn't do their "due diligence".  Gay marriage is not recognized in Colorado so Nina is not the spouse and is NOT next of kin.  Lucky's children were legally adopted by others so they aren't next of kin.  Ken is next of kin.  Nina should have left Mona alone Wednesday night.

Ken has to sign the cremation papers and after allowing the mortuary to read a comment that was sent to this blog by Nina they advised us to NOT sign until Nina can either produce or NOT produce a will giving Nina Lucky's body.  We'll see.








3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I lift up my eyes to the hills-
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the Lord,
the Maker of heaven and earth.
He will not let your foot slip-
he who watches over you will not slumber;
indeed, he who watches over Isreal will neither slumber nor sleep
The Lord watches over you-
the lord is your shade at your right hand; the sun will not harm you by day, nor the moon by night.
The Lord will keep you from all harm- he will watch over your life; the Lord will watch over your coming and going both now and forevermore.
We will give peace to all his children even for our mistakes for he loves us all.

Phyllis said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Phyllis said...

Thanks Roberta! Hope to see you in 2012.