My niece wrote on her FB page the other day "I didn't know there was an expiration date on friendship. Why didn't somebody warn me?" I've been thinking a lot about her statement. Obviously someone had recently hurt her and was no longer her friend. Well that sucks!!
Somewhere I read about different levels of friendship. I have about 5 levels in my life. But every level includes gray areas. The levels ebb and flow with time and circumstance building/subtracting. They are a living organism.
Best Friends: (BF) They get me; even when or especially when I'm stupid. My BFG is small. They. Know. Me. These folks are THERE for me. I can ask for help or understanding or a slap up alongside the face. Most times what I NEED is the slap. They GET that I stand up and fight on the outside but often am cowering in the corner on the inside. There is no need to hide from them. BF's don't pull the "YE" (You're Expired) card.
Close and Good Friends: (CGF) They don't know my bra size but I do spend a lot of time with these folks. My CGF group is made up of good solid people. It is somewhat larger than the BFG. Again the "YE" card is rarely used. It's mostly a fade out issue. Most times when I connect again the CGF comes back.
Friends: (F) I hang out with these folks and have a good time with them but they don't know my inner thoughts. I am very superficial with these folks. Good to be around when life is good. My F group is large. We travel and so we hang out with different F's at different times/years. It's great. With F's it is a matter of time/place/space/kids involvement issue instead of a "YE" issue. And it okay.
Acquaintances Group: (AG) This ginormous group of mine is wonderful. I have acquaintances all over the world and love to touch base with them when we travel in their area. Also these people are all around and I see them often. I know their names and a minute bit about their lives and share small talk. They could be a favorite waiter that knows my "usual" to an artist I used to book or a volunteer that used to work with me. The YE is never used here. These folks are not close enough for me to care if I get YE'd or not. Who cares?
Finally: (PF)The Pseudo Friend or The Pretend Friend: This viral group is pretty small in my life. Thankfully. In my experience these folk are dangerous and at times so hard to identify. I've experienced of couple of these PF's that masqueraded as GF's or F's. Then BOOM! they reach out and bite you!! I'm getting better in the discernment area. It's about time. The YE is the PF's BF! Go figure! So I deduced my niece must have categorized a PF as a BF/CGF and THAT was the problem. It was a case of a PF masquerading as a BF/CGF/F's. I hope she realizes it was them and NOT her. Don't give them another thought girl. They don't matter.
Once I identified MY groups I settled in to ponder my friends. I've added new folks to every group in the last few years. The BFF's are an awesome group and much bigger than I could have ever imagined. I am so blessed. The PF's no longer have much influence with me. Hopefully I can continue to put the brakes on when I "get a funny feeling" about someone.
I love the first three groups; don't care enough to care about the 4th and 5th is just a freckle on the behind of my life.
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